Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Alligator Man For County Coroner

The Alligator Man (Jose Lopez) is running for his second office in as many months. This guy runs for everything, library board, county ledge, common council, puppy catcher. But I think he has missed his calling, County Coroner.

A true candidate looking for higher office is willing to run for bigger races. The Alligator Man must think big if he wants to be victorious. A countywide coroner race will establish him as a true man of the people.

First, we all know the coroner office is a joke. It is filled by people who don’t qualify. Sounds familiar, sorta like the county executive office. Since they don’t qualify, then why do they have the job? Right, to funnel business to their funeral homes.

Second, The Alligator Man has no funeral business. He has no business whatsoever. Since there is no conflict of interest, he is already honestly qualified.

Third, the coroner race has also catapulted other great candidates like Debbie Busch. She was over qualified for the position. She had a master degree and another degree in mortuary science. If the Alligator Man is ever going to run for State Senate, assembly, or president of the United States, coroner is a stepping stone.

Fourth, coherent speech, some English proficiency, and ability to spell coroner are just preferred items. We know that’s not important for a job dealing with mostly dead people. Not to mention the cadavers staffing that office.

Finally, a college degree is not required. If McCoy is qualified to be county executive, the Alligator Man is qualified to be county coroner.

The Alligator Man for Albany County Coroner.
Because when qualifications don't matter, why should we care!


  1. Albany RepublicanJuly 5, 2011 at 1:10 PM

    LOL! Brilliant. What the heck, I might as well support him.

  2. Thank you!!!

    Hey, he will be as effective as anyone doing the job now.